Internet Disruption in Asia

The reason for Internet slow-down this past few days is due to earthquake happened in Taiwan on Tuesday, December 26. The two undersea data transmission cables under the Pacific Ocean were ruptured causing a massive break-down of all telecommunications in Asia. I read that Asia might still experience a slow internet connection until the coming New Year. Now that some people are net dependent in all their business and personal transactions, find it somewhat frustrating if they can't connect to the world wide web.

Read the Articles :

Quake highlights fragility of telecoms network - MSNBC

Asia Internet slowly comes back online - Yahoo! News

A Day After . . .

Christmas day is over, having a good time with the family is still the best part of it. Our place was the venue for the celebration this year however it should have been my aunt's place. But every member of the family want it to be in our house. My mom was telling me that when she called my grandmother everyone was saying they want Christmas took place in our house. I was laughing because we don't have anything to prepare, it was decided early on that my aunt is the host this year. So just to make it happen they brought the prepared foods in our house. Everything was great and the house was filled with noise and laughter. The only gift I got is a scent spray given by my aunt, Pear Glacè silkening body splash by Victoria's Secret GARDEN. My cousin was asking me to choose between Pear Glacè and Endless Love. I was wavering if I should choose Endless Love over Pear Glacè because I kinda like the smell of it too. But I ended up choosing Pear Glacè because its scent is mild and besides I like its color (lighter shade of apple green), haha~ ^_^ sometimes color affects my taste too. Yesterday all the family was present including my uncle, aunt and two other cousins that live in the states now through Yahoo messenger, and even though our 'Tatay' (my grandfather) is not here with us anymore I know he's gladly watching us and happily celebrated Christmas with the whole family. We miss him dearly especially my grandmother who just the thought of him makes her cry. I like about Christmas is the get together of the whole family, you can see them and share laughters with them. What I don't like about it is the same question I was always asked over and over and over again... "So, do you have a boyfriend?" and the recently asked question to me now is "Oh, where is he? What happened?" and "How old are you?" and "Are you planning to have a family". I really hate it when they started asking me this questions. Along with the sudden surprises of news of one of the member of the family. As far as I remember there hasn't been a get-together that there's no shocking revelation that happened in my family. This year its about my cousin conceiving, as expected I wouldn't be off the hook on the topic. As soon as they saw me the bomb was dropped on me "Oh, she's expecting when will it be your turn?" sarcastically I told them "How can I conceive when I don't have a boyfriend in the first place." Are they insane? They know I don't have a boyfriend so why are they asking me that BIG STUPID QUESTION, its not like I would suddenly conceive because my cousin was expecting. I am not the Virgin Mary for God's sake but WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? ask me this question. They were telling me to hurry up and got myself a boyfriend or someone who I can marry and have children on my own because I'm not getting any younger. Yeah, Yeah my cousin is a year younger than me and she's expecting now but what can I do she has a boyfriend and I don't. Am I supposed to blame myself for not having a boyfriend at my age and it's not my fault that she got pregnant first and not me. Ah! how frustrating! That's why sometimes I would rather be alone by myself because that's the only time I feel sane in this world. The only person that I can say who makes sense is my other aunt. When we were talking in the balcony along with my mom, my other aunt and my uncle the topic of 'boyfriend' was mentioned again. I like what she said, "Maybe they were not meant to be and maybe she was looking for someone else." Its the only sensible words I have heard in all of the nonsense talking that took place earlier that day. Yes I agree with her on that, we are not meant to be and I'm looking for someone who I can share the rest of my life with. I believe that he is out there because God has someone else planned for me. And for now I would happily enjoy my life.

SMILE! Because LIFE is so wonderful to frown about, right!

(image credit : cyworld kr)

Happy Holidays!!!

Noche Buena

Christmas Eve in the Philippines is the festive celebration of Filipinos at the strike of midnight. A tradition in the Filipino culture where an abundance of foods are prepared. Family members dine together and happily enjoy the night. For most-wealthy families the foods you'll see on their dinner table is a feast... different kinds of delicacies mostly you'll find in a high-class restaurant, a roast chicken, a roast beef, a mouth watering desserts and a high-quality wine. For the fortunate families the foods we can see are bread, Christmas ham, hotdogs, a hot chocolate and a cake for dessert. But for the most less fortunate families who can't afford to buy a chocolate mix to drink, a pack of hotdogs, a box of ham, a loaf of bread... all they can do is let pass the big event and treat it as an ordinary midnight and go on with their usual routine in life. But in spite of their condition some of them celebrate it happily and merrily without foods on their table. As long as they are together they enjoy the festive night along with the spirit of the holiday.

So this is the season of love and joy and the true meaning of Christmas is the birth of Christ. Celebrate it with love in our hearts and filled with joy in our life and peace for mankind.

5 more days to go . . .

5 GOLDEN RULES FOR FINDING YOUR LIFE PARTNER

by Rabbi Dov Heller, M.A.

A relationship coach lays out his 5 golden rules for evaluating the prospects of long-term success. When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50 percent, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr/Ms Right! If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love." I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love (alone). Though this may sound not politically correct, there's a profound truth here. Love (alone) is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone. You need a lot more.


Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.


QUESTION #1:
Do we share a common life purpose?

Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose. Two things can happen in a marriage. You can grow together, or you can grow apart. 50 percent of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life - bottom line - and marry someone who wants the same thing.


QUESTION #2:
Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?

This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust! i.e. trust that I won't get "punished" or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.


QUESTION #3:
Is he/she a mensch?

A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions.

1. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis?
2. Are they serious about improving themselves?
A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing". "So, ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic?" Usually, a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement. There are essentially two types of people in the world: People who are dedicated to personal growth and people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.


QUESTION #4:
How does he/she treat other people?

The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.
Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed? To measure this, think about the following:

1. How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc?
2. How do they treat parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation?
3. Do they show respect? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything, you cannot expect that they'll have gratitude for you - who can't do nearly as much for them!
4. Do they gossip and speak badly about others? Someone who gossips cannot be someone who loves others. You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.


QUESTION #5:
Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?

Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it, "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage ... for the worse!" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.


In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating, to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.


HOW WILL I KNOW IF I'VE MET THE PERSON I SHOULD MARRY?

The choice of a marriage partner should not be based on "I get a warm, wonderful feeling whenever we're together and I want to have that warm wonderful feeling forever, so let's go get married". Feelings, as we have discussed, have no logic on their own. They need to be acknowledged, of course, but they need considerable assistance from your brain.

Marriage means choosing the person you will spend the rest of your life with. This, as you may have guessed, is a very long time to spend with one person. This person will live with you, eat meals with you, sleep with you and go on vacation with you. More important yet, this person will share your children. You need to choose wisely. The decision should not be made based on feelings alone. You need to ask yourself some tough questions. The decisions have to be made on solid considerations.

Will this person be a good partner? Is she mature enough to put her own selfish desires aside to look out for what is best for the family? Is he prepared to be a good provider? What is his track record? Is he responsible enough to get a good job and keep it? Will this person be a good parent? Can you stand the thought of your children turning out exactly like this person? They will, you know. Children spend a lot of time with their parents and consequently pick up many or most of their parents' character traits. You had better like your spouse's traits a lot because you will be seeing them again in your children. If something were to happen to you, would you completely trust this person, alone, with the task of raising and forming your children? This is not a pleasant thought, but it is an important consideration. Not everyone dies at a ripe old age with great grandchildren gathered around the bed. Sometimes a parent dies and leaves young children in the care of the other parent. If you feel that you would need to be around to correct or lessen this person's influence on your children, then you are considering the wrong person.

Does this person share your faith in God? God does not give us children so that we can mould them into the coolest, most popular people in school. Our job is to get them to heaven. To do that, we need to raise them believing in God. It is tough to do that if only one parent believes. Saying "This is right and that is wrong, and I want you to ignore Mommy until you are thirty-five" does not work. Small children ask about eight million questions in a single day. The answers to those questions go a long way toward forming the kind of adults they will become. Who will be answering those questions for your children?

Does this person you are marrying have sexual self-control? Single people sometimes have this idea that marriage is just some kind of lifelong sex festival and that as long as they have each other, they will never be tempted by other people. Wrong! There are many times in every marriage when one partner or the other is sexually unavailable - illness, the last months of pregnancy, travel. There are also times when spouses, just get on each others' nerves. At times like this, other people can seem very appealing. That can be dangerous, because there are plenty of very attractive people out there who are willing to make themselves available to married men and women. Do you want someone who has never said "no" to sex? If he is not good at saying "no" at eighteen, it won't be different at forty. Do you want to worry about whether or not your Spouse is being faithful?


These are very important questions, and if you are not comfortable with all of the answers, you should definitely not marry this person.


None if this is to say that feelings play no role at all in a marriage decision. You don't have to, "Well, I suppose that you would make a good spouse and parent, so even though I don't particularly like you I guess I'll marry you'. You need to be happy and excited about the prospect of spending your life with someone. Your brain however must acknowledge that this person as a good choice.


Don't listen to your heart alone nor your head alone. Wait until your heart and head agree.


Though fate won't always do what we desire; still, we can set the world on fire.

The Four Agreements

by Don Miguel Ruiz

Everything we do is based on agreements we have made - agreements with ourselves, with other people, with God, with life. But the most important agreements are the ones we make with ourselves. In these agreements we tell ourselves who we are, how to behave, what is possible, what is impossible. One single agreement is not such a problem, but we have many agreements that come from fear, deplete our energy, and diminish our self-worth.

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

How Strange . . .

Someone you really don't know and haven't met personally knows who you are. Strange ? ! . . . >You keep remembering the past events happened in your life that maybe you have seen that person and that you have just forgotten about it. But even though how much you've search your brain you can't quite seem to remember. And that leaves you a big question mark ? .

William Forrester

"If we wait too long we risk learning that life is not a game lost nor won... but simply, most often, it is a game that is not played."

Finding Forrester

Autodesk Viz 4

Alone

(credit: image found at photobucket)

Three Word-Phrases That Can Enrich Every Relationship

There are many things that we can do to perk up and strengthen our interpersonal relationships. Yet the most effective involves the saying of just three words. When spoken or conveyed, these statements have the power to forge new friendships, deepen old ones and restore relationships that have cooled.

The following three-word phrases can enrich every relationship.

I'll be there. If you have ever had to call a friend in the middle of the night, to take a sick child to hospital, or when your car has broken down some miles from home, you will know how good it feels to hear the phrase "I'll be there."Being there for another person is th e greatest gift we can give. When we are truly present for other people, important things happen to them and us. We are renewed in love and friendship. We are restored emotionally and spiritually. Being there is at the very core of civility.

I miss you. Perhaps more marriages could be saved and strengthened if couples simply and sincerely said to each other "I miss you." This powerful affirmation tells partners they are wanted, needed, desired and loved. Consider how ecstatic you would feel, if you received an unexpected phone call from your spouse in the middle of your workday, just to say "I miss you."

I respect you. Respect is another way of showing love. Respect conveys the feeling that another person is a true equal. If you talk to your children as if they were adults you will strengthen the bonds and become close friends. This applies to all interpersonal relationships.

Maybe you're right. This phrase is highly effective in diffusing an argument and restoring frayed emotions. The flip side to "maybe your right" is the humility of admitting, "maybe I'm wrong". Let's face it. When you have a heated argument with someone, all you do is cement the other person's point of view. They, or you, will not change their stance and you run the risk of seriously damaging the relationship between you. Saying "maybe you're right" can open the door to further explore the subject, in which you may then have the opportunity to get your view across in a more rational manner.

Please forgive me. Many broken relationships could be restored and healed if people would admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. All of us are vulnerable to faults, foibles and failures. A man should never be ashamed to own up that he has been in the wrong, which is saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.

I thank you. Gratitude is an exquisite form of courtesy. People who enjoy the companionship of good, close friends are those who don't take daily courtesies for granted. They are quick to thank their friends for their many expressions of kindness. On the other hand, people whose circle of friends is severely constricted often do not have the attitude of gratitude.

Count on me. A friend is one who walks in when others walk out. Loyalty is an essential ingredient for true friendship; it is the emotional glue that bonds people. Those that are rich in their relationships tend to be steady and true friends. When troubles come, a good friend is there indicating "you can count on me."

Let me help. The best of friends see a need and try to fill it. When they spot a hurt they do what they can to heal it. Without being asked, they pitch in and help.

I understand you. People become closer and enjoy each other more if they feel the other person accepts and understands them. Letting your spouse know in so many little ways that you understand them, is one of the most powerful tools for healing your relationship. This applies to any relationship.

Go for it. We are all unique individuals. Don't try to get your friends to conform to your ideals. Support them in pursuing their interests, no matter how weird they seem to you. Everyone has dreams, dreams that are unique to that person only. Support and encourage your friends to follow their dreams. Tell them to "go for it."

I love you. Perhaps the most important three words that you can say. Telling someone that you truly love them satisfies a person's deepest emotional needs. The need to belong, to feel appreciated and to be wanted. Your family, your friends and you, all need to hear those three little words. "I love you."

GOD BLESS YOU! (These are 3 words too, right?)

Standing on Top of the World

A sidewalk chalk art by chalk artist Julian Beever


here is the chalk globe drawn in the sidewalk view from the side...

8 Ways To Handle An Argument

Let's face it, no one is perfect. No matter how hard you try, or how loving and respectful of a couple you are, you are bound to get into a disagreement once in a while. With a few tips though, it doesn't have to be something that can harm your relationship. The next time you feel an argument starting to form keep in mind these 8 ways to handle an argument!

1. Give your partner enough space to voice his or her concerns.
I'm sure you hate it when people interrupt you; give your partner the same respect -- even if you don't agree with what they are saying.

2. Make an extra effort to really understand what you partner is trying to say.
It is very easy to fall into the trap of thinking you know what they are saying, when in fact you may not have a clue. If your partner feels like you understand what they are saying, you'll find a way to end the argument far more quickly.

3. Don't say something you'll regret later.
Always consider your relationship like a glass. It is sturdy, tough, beautiful and clear when taken care of, but if it is mistreated or mishandled it can end up scratched, cracked or even broken. Take care in choosing the words you say when you are in the heat of the moment.

4. Don't bring in past woes.
The past is the past... let it stay there. If you dwell on past occurrences, you'll never find a solution for the future your partner will feel less loved and respected, and you will always feel negatively towards your partner. People make mistakes. Give your partner the chance to recover from them, and encourage and support them when they make the right choices.

5. Learn to compromise.
If you can learn to compromise, you'll find yourself in fewer disagreements. If you don't like something, then agree with your partner to find some middle ground. This also applies the other way. Be willing to come up with alternative solutions for things your partner doesn't like as well!

6. Realize that no matter what you say, you both may not agree on the issue at hand.
An argument is typically started because you want someone to agree with you about something. You think that the other person must not know all the facts, so you begin to explain it to them. The more your partner still disagrees with you, the more upset you usually get. But, if you realize that sometimes it is best to just let yourselves agree to disagree -- you'll show your partner that you not only respect their opinion, but respect their individuality as well. You never know, maybe later on they (or even you!) might change their mind.

7. Make a commitment to talk about the situation until it is handled.
It's far too easy to run off and avoid your partner, or give them the silent treatment. Instead, make a commitment right now to each other to respect each other enough to work it out -- even if it takes all night. Nothing is unsolvable when you are working together to truly find a peaceful resolution.

8. Make your relationship with your partner your first concern when you are in the middle of a disagreement.
This does not mean bend over backwards for them or compromise your integrity. Just keep in mind that the person you are arguing with is your best friend, lover and soul mate. If you both keep that at the forefront of your mind in an argument, it will keep what matters most away from cruel words or intent -- your heart!


Finally, I leave you with one thought on preventing arguments. Let your partner know exactly when something upsets you. I've found that many people tend to not speak up when something bothers them, thinking that it is trivial to mention it. Unfortunately, what happens is after repeated times of not speaking up, some small occurrence happens and it ends up being the straw that broke the camel's back. The other partner, more often than not, has no clue what they are upset about and therefore thinks they are over-reacting. If you find yourself in this situation, deal with each thing as it happens. Don't let things build up until you explode.