the first and the last time...

ten years have passed and many things haved happened. i have been a fool half of those years for not knowing i haved loved someone close to me. making me crazy for finding out this person has feelings for me too. but it's too late for me to show and say what my heart truely feels, now that you're with someone else. avoiding you is the only way because i know it is the best thing to do. however some situations come and our paths would crossed again. trying my best to flash a sweet smile though deep down inside i'm hurting. everytime you smile i can't help but to tell myself, it should have been mine and i'm the reason behind those smiles. just the thought of it leaves me in a wonderful fantasy even for a moment. then when reality kicks in, it seems that there's always this needle comes bursting my made-up world. all that is left is a hazy gray sky, as i gazed upon a horizon of nothingness. you never know how haved i wished that you could have faced me and have taken the risk of telling me what's inside your heart. the time when the both of us were still free, then maybe back then you haved saved me from wasting my time loving someone who doesn't deserved the affection i haved given. but as those time passed i'd come to realize, i can't force things that aren't meant to be. that things just don't go the way i want them to... because we know life would always be unfair and reality is just cruel. i know now that i have to let go and hanging on to something that's not real won't do me any good. it seems that my book was opened for so long and i'm stucked in this page hoping the succeding lines of the story would change. the time has come for me to finally end the story and close the book to be able to start a new story to read on. inspite of everything, i am thankful that you haved spared a portion of your heart to me... for the feelings you felt for me. it is enough for me to know that somehow i have been a part of your life and touched your heart. i am sorry if i have hurt you in any way i wasn't aware of. so now i want to wish you a happy life, all the blessings in the world and be healthy always. it's the only thing i can do in return for the good deeds you haved shown me. i will never forget someone like you in my life and you'll be a memory which will always be in my heart. so for the first and the last time i'm going to say... I'M SORRY, I LOVE YOU.

♥josephine♥